Signs, signs everywhere a sign.

I should get a sign for the top of my car.. and one for the roof of my house. You know when you're driving down the highway and you see those signs that say "Every 6-1/2 minutes someone in the U.S. is... blah, blah, blah"?

I need one of those signs. Mostly is would be a warning for others... a warning of my current mood.

Every 5-1/2 minutes I am pissed off at a person driving in close proximity to me... watch out, your car might just be the one I decide to ram today.

Every 2-3/4 minutes I am pretty pissed off about how early I had to wake up on said day... watch out, I might just ram your car because I'm pissed off about being tired.

Every 8-1/2 minutes I am annoyed because someone is asking me for milk, or a snack or what is for dinner and then complaining about the answer. Watch out, I will make you eat brussel sprouts just because you complained.

Yada, yada, yada.

Push me over. Really! Go ahead.

I have a problem. (Okay, I have more than one problem, but let's not go there). To get to the problem I am having, I must first share another problem that I have. It's a big day for problems, people.

I don't share well with others. Call me rude. Call me whatever you want - but I don't. I'm pretty specific on what I won't share.

My space.
My space.
My space.
Oh - and in case you weren't sure before... My space.

I don't appreciate being touched. If I don't know you ... even if I do know you ... please keep your hands and feet to yourself. If you are not my child or my husband, please do not hang on me. Please do not hug me if I have not initiated said hug. Please do not stand close enough that I can feel your breath on me OR so close that I can feel any part of anything you are wearing touch or brush against any part of anything that I am wearing. Please do not step into my 'personal space' (at least an arm length) while we are speaking. Some days I am not as bothered as others, but you will never know which is a good space day and which is a bad space day - therefore I suggest you assume that every day is a bad space day. Just sayin'.

(On a side note, just so you are aware I am not a *complete* freak... if you are my child or my husband - cuddle me, hug me, love me... stand close enough so we can touch, share my jacket if you would like, hold my hand... but IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THESE THREE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE - PLEASE REFER TO THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH!!)

The point of this post is to work through the other issue I have... being a pushover. That's me. I wear a sign... PUSH ME THE FUCK OVER - IT WILL BE FUN!!!! I WILL LET YOU. REALLY. DO IT.

In two weeks I have to go away overnight for a school function. This requires reserving a hotel room in a city. Not cheap. Whatever. One night - I'll make do. Most of the class is figuring ways to shove as many people into a room as humanly possible. I can't do it. I am sharing with one friend. Even this is difficult for me. She is quiet and sweet and respects my space, therefore I believe I will make it through the evening...

BACK TO THE PUSH OVER POINT... A classmate called tonight. She *knows* that I do not want to share a room with anyone more than the person I am now sharing with (I explained this when the topic of an out of town trip was first approached by the nursing department and everyone was rushing to find extra roommates), she knows that I do not share well with others but here is what she says... "me and so and so are supposed to share a room but neither one of us have very much money right now and I know, know, know that you are funny about sharing space with extra people, but if we bring an air mattress can we sleep on the floor in your room to save some money?"

WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like a heel if I don't... but if I do, I might go insane. I shouldn't have to, right? What about karma though... If I don't - will it bite me on the ass?? My husband says it is not my problem and I shouldn't worry about it but even though I know that this may seem stupid, it bothers me.

It may not seem like a big deal to most people. Most people can probably deal with crowds and people and all of the things that tend to freak me out. I just can't. I thought about just figuring out some extra hours of work so I can pay for their room.

OH - you're probably wondering why the hell I want so badly to be a nurse... that requires touching people, right?! I AM INITIATING THE TOUCHING. It is different. It probably makes no sense... but it works for me.

Damn. Can I be done with school now, please?!

What I love.

I love that I have met new people through this blog. Bonus, I get an insight to your daily lives through Facebook. You and you and you and you ... if I would not have been looking for a place to bitch and complain, I may have never met ... you and you and you and, well - you!

I knew that one day I would find a positive to the bitching and complaining I do.

Thanks for making me smile!

Why do I trust people... because I am a fool.

My husband says that I'm not someone you want to mess with. Seriously, if I have to deal with you over the phone - WATCH OUT!!! I WILL WIN! I always do. I am calm. I am rational. I hardly ever get nasty. I NEVER take no for an answer. NEVER.

Here's the problem. Screw me over in a way that requires me to deal with you face to face and guess what ... YOU WIN. I am not calm. I am not rational. Likely I will end up getting so mad I will cry. Yes, I said cry. (I have never learned to control this... piss me off and the tears just start a rollin' - pretty friggin' annoying). Therefore, in an effort to save my self from total humiliation, I give in.

I've just been screwed over. It is a face-t0-face situation. I told my hubby to take care of it. He said NO.

Now hiring: Thug to take care of said screw-over situation for me. I pay. Well, with cookies... but that is payment, right??

'Twas the Day After Christmas...

I know. You may think I fell off the earth... well, unless you're my friend on Facebook - and I think all 6 of my readers are. So, never mind.

I. AM. GOING. TO. START. BLOGGING. AGAIN. It is therapeutic AND I don't have the time for normal therapy!

Here is a poem I found on-line... thought it was silly and thought I would share.
Happy holidays to all and to all a good night. (I crack myself up). ;)

Twas the day after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Every creature was hurting-- even the mouse.
The toys were all broken,
their batteries dead;
Santa passed out,
with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
while Upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reebok's and jeans,
Went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said "U.S. POSTMAN."
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
"Now Dillard's, now Broadway's, now Penny's and Sears
Here's Levitz's and Target's and Mervyn's -- all here!!
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway-chargeaway-chargeaway all!"
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
"ENJOY WHAT YOU GOT ... YOU'LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR"

Sick Mutha Fu@$ers

I DVR Oprah. I watch some, I erase some. Watched today. Now I'm not so sure that was a great idea.

I try not to judge. I hate when people judge me - so I try really, really hard not to judge others. Today I was judging - and wishing bad things to happen to the people I found myself judging. You may or may not agree with me - but I will not take it back.

The show today was, in part, about child pornography. An 18 year old boy was arrested, from his home in Florida, for having some sick shit on his computer. At the time of his arrest, child pornography was being actively downloaded to his computer. Some of what they found: A 40 minute tape of a 4 or 5 year old girl bound and being raped by an adult male and a tape showing and 8 year old being forced to perform oral sex on a dog.

Not only do I judge you... (and all the other sick fuckers out there like you) - you sick, twisted freaks that watch shit like this - oh, and lets not forget the stupid fuckers that actually torture these children... I'm sending bad juju your way. I hope they cut off your pecker and chop it up in itty-bitty little pieces right in front of you. I hope they tape your fingers together, wrap them up - real tight like - so you'll be able to see that you have hands - but will never be able to use them to touch a computer, or any child EVER AGAIN. I feel no sympathy for you or your situation.

I have read that a number of child molesters have been molested themselves. I am very sorry for you that this happened. No child, anywhere - EVER should have to endure this type of torture. BUT - your having been molested DOES NOT, IN ANY WAY entitle you to do the same... GET HELP. You know something was fucked up in your head (or I hope you know) ... check yourself into a hospital. REACH OUT before you do something wrong.

No matter what your reason is for molesting a child - my reaction is the same. BAD JUJU TO YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

Ranting - and some raving too!

I know I'm not around a lot these days, sorry! Since most of my 'peeps' are on facebook - I have become really lazy about blogging.

I've been in a pretty pissy mood ... but even now, in the one place that I feel like I should be able to 'lay it all out'... I can't. I have started typing this about 7 different times... type, delete, type, delete... now that I *know* some of you (i.e... we share a couple of laughs here and there on facebook), I'm afraid if I type the schtuff that swirls around in my head - you'd all go 'this girl is fuckin' nuts - I'm outta here'!!

Instead - I will tell you about Easter!

My husband told my brother-in-law that HE was thinking we might start taking the kids to church 'so they can learn about god and stuff'. My brother-in-law, a born again christian, was not very happy about this. Guess who heard all about it? DING DING DING - you're right - ME ME ME!!!

I never just come out and share my opinions with my husbands family in regards to what I really think about politics and religion (fun schtuff like that), unless they ask. I guess I figure that speaking my mind with them - it will cause problems... here, there - everywhere. BUT, if they ask me what I think about something, I'm not going to lie. I will tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - you asked, your fault if you don't like the answer.

Long story short... my brother-in-law knows now that I consider myself agnostic. (I thought as I got older... I would move more toward spirituality, nope - didn't happen that way. Instead, I find myself moving further and further away) The bro-in-law wasn't very happy. What was I supposed to do, lie to him? I wasn't disrespectful, I didn't mock him... I just told him the truth. He told me he would pray for me. That's fine. It was what he said next that pissed me off. He told me that it took and 'intervention' for him to find the lord... and maybe 'that is what i need' - he had 15 people sit him down and pray hard for him - tell him all about the glory of god...

what the fuck?

i get it. if you believe in it - I am SUPER happy for you. SUPER, SUPER, SUPER!!! But, anyone that knows me - knows that I am claustrophobic. I get sorta panicky when I am in crowds and avoid elevators because of all the people in close proximity to me... set me in a room with a bunch of 'christian interventioners' telling me what I SHOULD believe and why - what do you think is going to happen?

The 'i respect your belief hat' is gonna come off. I'm gonna get nasty. I'm gonna get rude.

Seriously, why can't YOU have YOUR beliefs and I will have my 'lack' of my beliefs... we can still sit down and have a laugh, right? I have always been respectful of you - I have bowed my head in your home when you pray at meal time, I have kept my religious opinions to myself (until you decided you *had* to ask) - why do things have to change?

DAMN.

And this is the 'stuff' in my head that I share... really makes you wonder what I don't share, huh?? (or not... I'm really just pretending to myself that you would be interested)