Push me over. Really! Go ahead.

I have a problem. (Okay, I have more than one problem, but let's not go there). To get to the problem I am having, I must first share another problem that I have. It's a big day for problems, people.

I don't share well with others. Call me rude. Call me whatever you want - but I don't. I'm pretty specific on what I won't share.

My space.
My space.
My space.
Oh - and in case you weren't sure before... My space.

I don't appreciate being touched. If I don't know you ... even if I do know you ... please keep your hands and feet to yourself. If you are not my child or my husband, please do not hang on me. Please do not hug me if I have not initiated said hug. Please do not stand close enough that I can feel your breath on me OR so close that I can feel any part of anything you are wearing touch or brush against any part of anything that I am wearing. Please do not step into my 'personal space' (at least an arm length) while we are speaking. Some days I am not as bothered as others, but you will never know which is a good space day and which is a bad space day - therefore I suggest you assume that every day is a bad space day. Just sayin'.

(On a side note, just so you are aware I am not a *complete* freak... if you are my child or my husband - cuddle me, hug me, love me... stand close enough so we can touch, share my jacket if you would like, hold my hand... but IF YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THESE THREE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE - PLEASE REFER TO THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH!!)

The point of this post is to work through the other issue I have... being a pushover. That's me. I wear a sign... PUSH ME THE FUCK OVER - IT WILL BE FUN!!!! I WILL LET YOU. REALLY. DO IT.

In two weeks I have to go away overnight for a school function. This requires reserving a hotel room in a city. Not cheap. Whatever. One night - I'll make do. Most of the class is figuring ways to shove as many people into a room as humanly possible. I can't do it. I am sharing with one friend. Even this is difficult for me. She is quiet and sweet and respects my space, therefore I believe I will make it through the evening...

BACK TO THE PUSH OVER POINT... A classmate called tonight. She *knows* that I do not want to share a room with anyone more than the person I am now sharing with (I explained this when the topic of an out of town trip was first approached by the nursing department and everyone was rushing to find extra roommates), she knows that I do not share well with others but here is what she says... "me and so and so are supposed to share a room but neither one of us have very much money right now and I know, know, know that you are funny about sharing space with extra people, but if we bring an air mattress can we sleep on the floor in your room to save some money?"

WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like a heel if I don't... but if I do, I might go insane. I shouldn't have to, right? What about karma though... If I don't - will it bite me on the ass?? My husband says it is not my problem and I shouldn't worry about it but even though I know that this may seem stupid, it bothers me.

It may not seem like a big deal to most people. Most people can probably deal with crowds and people and all of the things that tend to freak me out. I just can't. I thought about just figuring out some extra hours of work so I can pay for their room.

OH - you're probably wondering why the hell I want so badly to be a nurse... that requires touching people, right?! I AM INITIATING THE TOUCHING. It is different. It probably makes no sense... but it works for me.

Damn. Can I be done with school now, please?!