Sick Mutha Fu@$ers

I DVR Oprah. I watch some, I erase some. Watched today. Now I'm not so sure that was a great idea.

I try not to judge. I hate when people judge me - so I try really, really hard not to judge others. Today I was judging - and wishing bad things to happen to the people I found myself judging. You may or may not agree with me - but I will not take it back.

The show today was, in part, about child pornography. An 18 year old boy was arrested, from his home in Florida, for having some sick shit on his computer. At the time of his arrest, child pornography was being actively downloaded to his computer. Some of what they found: A 40 minute tape of a 4 or 5 year old girl bound and being raped by an adult male and a tape showing and 8 year old being forced to perform oral sex on a dog.

Not only do I judge you... (and all the other sick fuckers out there like you) - you sick, twisted freaks that watch shit like this - oh, and lets not forget the stupid fuckers that actually torture these children... I'm sending bad juju your way. I hope they cut off your pecker and chop it up in itty-bitty little pieces right in front of you. I hope they tape your fingers together, wrap them up - real tight like - so you'll be able to see that you have hands - but will never be able to use them to touch a computer, or any child EVER AGAIN. I feel no sympathy for you or your situation.

I have read that a number of child molesters have been molested themselves. I am very sorry for you that this happened. No child, anywhere - EVER should have to endure this type of torture. BUT - your having been molested DOES NOT, IN ANY WAY entitle you to do the same... GET HELP. You know something was fucked up in your head (or I hope you know) ... check yourself into a hospital. REACH OUT before you do something wrong.

No matter what your reason is for molesting a child - my reaction is the same. BAD JUJU TO YOU MOTHER FUCKER.

Ranting - and some raving too!

I know I'm not around a lot these days, sorry! Since most of my 'peeps' are on facebook - I have become really lazy about blogging.

I've been in a pretty pissy mood ... but even now, in the one place that I feel like I should be able to 'lay it all out'... I can't. I have started typing this about 7 different times... type, delete, type, delete... now that I *know* some of you (i.e... we share a couple of laughs here and there on facebook), I'm afraid if I type the schtuff that swirls around in my head - you'd all go 'this girl is fuckin' nuts - I'm outta here'!!

Instead - I will tell you about Easter!

My husband told my brother-in-law that HE was thinking we might start taking the kids to church 'so they can learn about god and stuff'. My brother-in-law, a born again christian, was not very happy about this. Guess who heard all about it? DING DING DING - you're right - ME ME ME!!!

I never just come out and share my opinions with my husbands family in regards to what I really think about politics and religion (fun schtuff like that), unless they ask. I guess I figure that speaking my mind with them - it will cause problems... here, there - everywhere. BUT, if they ask me what I think about something, I'm not going to lie. I will tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth - you asked, your fault if you don't like the answer.

Long story short... my brother-in-law knows now that I consider myself agnostic. (I thought as I got older... I would move more toward spirituality, nope - didn't happen that way. Instead, I find myself moving further and further away) The bro-in-law wasn't very happy. What was I supposed to do, lie to him? I wasn't disrespectful, I didn't mock him... I just told him the truth. He told me he would pray for me. That's fine. It was what he said next that pissed me off. He told me that it took and 'intervention' for him to find the lord... and maybe 'that is what i need' - he had 15 people sit him down and pray hard for him - tell him all about the glory of god...

what the fuck?

i get it. if you believe in it - I am SUPER happy for you. SUPER, SUPER, SUPER!!! But, anyone that knows me - knows that I am claustrophobic. I get sorta panicky when I am in crowds and avoid elevators because of all the people in close proximity to me... set me in a room with a bunch of 'christian interventioners' telling me what I SHOULD believe and why - what do you think is going to happen?

The 'i respect your belief hat' is gonna come off. I'm gonna get nasty. I'm gonna get rude.

Seriously, why can't YOU have YOUR beliefs and I will have my 'lack' of my beliefs... we can still sit down and have a laugh, right? I have always been respectful of you - I have bowed my head in your home when you pray at meal time, I have kept my religious opinions to myself (until you decided you *had* to ask) - why do things have to change?

DAMN.

And this is the 'stuff' in my head that I share... really makes you wonder what I don't share, huh?? (or not... I'm really just pretending to myself that you would be interested)

Sometimes... I'm dumb

I should really learn to shut-up. Seriously.

I was feeling kinda close to my husband tonight - sitting around talking. He is telling me about his blog - telling me that I should get a blog. I admitted that I have a blog. That I have had a blog. My 'diary' blog - so I can't share - you understand, right?

Now, he is mad that I didn't share.

"I'm keeping secrets"

Have a feeling this isn't going to turn out well.

I'm going to shut up now. Too late though.

Are you kidding me??

I wonder, what causes a grown man to revert to childhood behaviors once married? You know - like not being able to see what is virtually right in front of his face?

For example:

After having my hair cut this weekend (a place I turn down my cell phone as to not bother those getting their 'hair did' beside me) I notice I have a voicemail. Received from my home. 15 minutes after I left the house.

"Do you have my keys. I can't find my keys. I'm trying to go to the driving range, I can't find my keys"

I didn't panic. I don't have his keys. Surely he found them and is well on his way to golfing bliss. Or even if he didn't find his keys, he had to remember that we have two extra keys for his truck and again - is well on his way to golfing bliss.

Then I pull into the driveway. His truck is still at home. He is standing beside it. Pissed.

Me: Why are you still here?

Him: Because I don't have any keys. You have them.

Me: I don't have your keys. Did you look in the house?

Him: Of course I looked in the house.

Me: Well, lets go look.

Him: I looked everywhere - there is no point.

Me: {I walk into the house, over to our small hall table, lift up a tu-tu my daughter left there - and there are the keys} - I hand them to the man...

Him: Just how was I supposed to find them there?

Me: Same way I did, I suppose. But, why did you wait for me to get home - why didn't you just use one of the spare keys instead??

Him: Blank Stare ????????????????????????

He forgot about the spare keys.

Are you kidding me?

You know her...

...she is "searching for a new tomorrow", always has a great post... hot hair and isn't afraid to tell you what's what.

Thank you for your kind words ...

Yo Adrienne: She's so damn cute. Busy little chick who has a great personality. She oozes cuteness through her writing. I admire her hard work and determination.

Thank you for the smile you brought to me today :)

My kids are asking questions...

Before you read this entry, please note that I am in no way putting down your religious belief or mocking your faith. I, without question, respect that every person has the right to their own faith and opinions...

I just ask that you respect my right to the same.

My kids are asking me questions about God and Jesus. What the heck do I do now?

The pre-school / daycare they go to is run by a Christian affiliated organization ... in my mind I knew that they would hear about God, Jesus and all that jazz at school - I knew that this day would come - but, I did exactly what I normally do, ignored it, tucked it all somewhere in a back corner of my brain, now I'm regretting that decision - I am really unprepared.

As a kid I was catholic. As an adult, I have been in denial.

I saw on a tv show one time that they think people with faith have something different in their DNA than those without faith. I admire the people with faith - I really do. I admire all of you that believe and don't doubt. That's my problem...

I doubt.

What about all of the other religions in the world? What if they are right? What if all I was taught was wrong? What? Who? How? Do we really know? Guess that's where that whole 'faith' thing comes into play, huh?!

I want to give my children the opportunity to make their own decisions about God - faith... Maybe it is time I start taking them to church, so they are able to have their questions answered. But, will they receive the right answers? Unfortunately, we do not live in an area of religious diversity. That would be great - we could visit different places, learn different things...

They are young. Only 4 & 5... questions are pretty basic at this point. But, I fear, the questions are only going to get tougher.

Wonder if anyone has a book with all of the answers they wouldn't mind lending me?

Disappointment is so ... disappointing

I have been there for my brother anytime he has called - for whatever he needs. I always thought that should I have a need arise - that my brother would be there for me.

I did. He wasn't.

I didn't need money. I didn't need him to lift any heavy furniture. I needed his time. Just a couple of hours.

Wouldn't do it. Not because he wasn't able. His plan for the day involved putting an impression of his ass into his couch.

Jack-ass.

I never thought that he wouldn't be there for me when I needed something. Disappointment is so disappointing.