If I were candy I would be...

SweeTarts

Fits me perfectly!!

So, my friends... what candy would you be?

Happy Halloween!

I have one of *those* names...

Laura said recently that I need a nickname.

This - it made me think - and I have decided - I will share with you. (oh, the suspense)

My name.

Adrienne.

Can you imagine? Do you know where I am going with this?

If I had a quarter for every time I have heard "YO, Adrienne" (inevitably) followed by
"do you get that a lot" OR "have you ever heard that"...

I WOULD BE A FUCKING MILLIONAIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you think this bothers me??

It doesn't... anymore. Really.

Therapy helped a lot.

The twitch - very slight compared to what it used to be.

You tell me that I don't have to *like* my kids... now tell me, do I have to like my in-laws??

...because every time I know that I am going to have to deal with J's family... my spidey senses go all out of whack! I get anxious thinking of the ways they will let me know that everything I do is wrong (in their eyes and the eyes of their god) ... this makes me pissy (my mood, not my pants thankfully), which then leads to road rage [**note** the road rage they cause ... adding to the money I am going to have to dish out for the kids' therapy one day**].

J's family is as different from mine as can be. My family is laid back and a little rough around the edges - in a type A kind of way (if that makes any sense at all) - his family... judgemental, annoying - you get the point. [Okay, okay - my family is judgemental too - but we call it gossip and we do it behind your back... not to your face!]

I have never had a problem getting along with just about anybody. But, everything I do - a problem. I am wrong. I am selfish. I am immature. Just can't win.

We will see them Sunday.

It's Wednesday now. I can feel it... my spidey senses are starting to go. By the time Sunday rolls around - I'm going to be a flipping mess... if you live in NE Ohio - consider this fair warning.

UG.

Am I supposed to like my kids?

Am I?
Because today, I do not.

My kids were used to being with me all day. I was a stay-at-home mom until June when I went back to school full time during the day. (Previously, I went nights and weekends and they were home with dad or grandma). I had such a tough time leaving them... cried all of the way to school for a week. Wimpy, I know.

But now that they are in school 3 LONG days during the week - they drive me nuts!!

Is it because I am no longer used to being with them all of the time? Is it because I am out in the world of adults again? (although, quite frankly - a lot of adults get on my nerves) Or is it because they fight, fight, fight? Or because they whine, whine, whine?

I thought having babies was hard ... my kids are 12 months apart - there were times I was ready to go nuts... but now that they talk [meant - *talk back*] it is much harder than when they just crawled around and stuck everything in their mouths.

Oh yeah - and as an extra special gift - everything I do and say ... they are old enough to remember now. Each and every time I tell them they are driving me crazy - adds to the amount of money they will be hitting me up for to pay for therapy one day.

I'm a sucky mommy.

Blog borrowing...

On The girl you don't want to bring home to momma's blog - she has a 'getting to know you' ... here I borrow from her blog so you will have the pleasure of getting to know me!

[come on, admit it... you're pretty excited, aren't you??]


1. What is your occupation right now? um... momstudentwifefreelanceaccountantschoolhelpersocialplannersnataxisecretary...

2. What color are your socks right now? black

3. What are you listening to right now? the dishwasher running. this is especially nice because I am not the one who loaded it... the husband did. NICE!

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Macaroni & Cheese. Also especially nice because I did not make it... the husband did. NICE!

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Absolutely. I have many talents.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My dad

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes. She makes me laugh. [awwww... don't you feel warm and fuzzy now Girl??]

8. How old are you today? 30 is the new 20

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? Not a sports fan. LOOK - before you start yelling at me... I'VE TRIED... I really, really have... I just CAN'T do it OKAY?? I CAN'T!!!

10. What is your favorite drink? Diet Sunkist - I start to panic if I am running low [seriously]

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes.

12. Favorite food? Sweet Potatoes

13. What is the last movie you watched? The Holiday

14. Favorite day of the year? Thanksgiving

15. How do you vent anger? Yelling works pretty well. Oh, and I call people names too. :)

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Lite-Bright

17. What is your favorite season? crayons & coloring books

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries.. yummy!

19. Do you want your friends to participate in this survey? I want to know everything about everyone

20. Who is the most likely to respond? No clue

21. Who is least likely to respond? A number of people

22. Living arrangements? Husband and 2 kids

23. When was the last time you cried? last weekend

24. What is on the floor of your closet? my closet is my office... so paperwork / school books

25. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to? N/A

26. What did you do last night? Read Blogs / Re-read med administration for an upcoming exam

27. What are you most afraid of? Something happening to my husband or our children

28. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese with tomato

29. Favorite dog breed? Golden Retriever

30. Favorite day of the week? all days are the same for me. packed full.

31. How many states have you lived in? 3

32. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds - bigger the better

33. What is your favorite flower? calla-lilies

34. Who is your hero? my son - my sweet little 3-year old boy. he has been through so much in the past year... he is still brave and strong. (a blog for another day folks)

35. How many children do you have? 2 - a sweetheart little girl and a silly little boy

36. If you could have one wish - what would it be? seriously, it might sound corny - but my wish is for my kids to be happy. to have a happy life.

37. Where is the craziest place you've had sex? my in-law's back yard

38. Are you married? Yes (9 years today)

39. Are you happy? today was a pretty okay day

40. Do you consider yourself rich or poor? paycheck to paycheck

Do you know everything that you have every wanted to know about me??

anniversary no 9

I have no clue what to get for the guy I promised to ... love, respect, honor - blah, blah, yada, yada ... 9 years ago tomorrow.

googled anniversary no 9 ... this is what I got:
9th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY
Traditional Anniversary Gift: Pottery
Modern Anniversary Gift: Leather
Travel Anniversary Gift Ideas: Mexico

First... our closest Pottery Barn - about 50 minutes away. Plus, that is more my thing than his. That won't work.
Second... leather?? I guess I could find him a leather whip at the 'fun' shop a couple of miles away ... he would probably enjoy that quite a bit. Unfortunately, my skin is quite sensitive and I don't know how much I would enjoy it.
Third... Mexico?? yeah fucking right... like I can afford a trip to Mexico.

**********
For anniversary no 9 - this is the special day I have planned:

1. I will get the kids up and fight them on what they will be wearing to school (probably remembering after the fight that I am supposed to be nicer to the kids so they will visit me when I am old).
2. I'll dig enough change out of the car to buy myself a Dunkin Donuts coffee before I head off to school.
3. I'll practice giving shots to a foam rubber block - talking to it nice - pretending its a patient I am sticking with a needle.
4. I'll go to the post office, the grocery store - oh, and pick up my Lexapro (because you don't want to be around me if I forget it...)
5. Pick up the kids from school.
6. Come home and fight with the kids again (shit, gotta remember that nicer thing) to put their coats on the hook and put their shoes away
7. Make dinner
8. Listen to the kids whine that the dinner I made isn't what they want to eat.
9. Fight the kids to get re-dressed ... take them back to school for their fall program
10. Bring them home and again fight the kids to get ready for bed.
11. Study
12. Sleep

What am I forgetting??

Oh fuck ... my husband.

Now I have to re-plan my day to fit in a fight with him too... it is our anniversary after all.

I should probably be nicer to my kids...

I'm a nursing student.
Today I started my acute care rotation.
What did I learn?

Nursing school really doesn't teach you shit. I won't learn what I need to know until I graduate and start working on the floor.

My patient today was an 82 year old female, all alone. No family to visit her and a random guardian to see to her care. When I'm 82, I hope my kids visit me. I should be nicer to my kids now or they will probably agree to let me be used for some sort of scientific experimental testing when I'm old.

Off to make cupcakes for the kids now...

WTF...???

I'm pissed.
I know... I know... I said I was going to give up complaining.
Now, I have decided that I am going to start complaining again. Often.
I make that promise and you are my witness.

I WILL COMPLAIN AND I WILL COMPLAIN OFTEN!!!

Starting now....

My husband.
He travels for work.
A LOT

Last week when he came home... turns out we didn't give him enough of a welcome reception when he came home. Guess who heard all about it.

Now, before you go taking his side - listen to me.

My week:
Sick kids
No sleep
Holding heads while children puke
No sleep
Wiping butts (one night (between 2 & 4 am) - 14 times - SERIOUSLY)
No sleep
Sick kid laundry to the ceiling
No sleep
Yada, yada, yada yada

Get the picture????

When husband comes through the door at the end of his trip... I'm cooking dinner, trying to have it ready as close to when he came home as possible. I had scrubbed the house free of sick germs. Still no sleep. Washed & put away all of the sick kid laundry. Still no sleep. But, wanted to make sure hubby came home from a long week away to a clean house and a hot meal...No complaining to the hubby about the week... no need to ruin his night with tales of puke and poop... especially over dinner. Quick kiss and a hello when he comes in the door - tossing a 'how was your trip' over my shoulder as I head back to making dinner.

Apparently - not enough.

I FREAKING LOST IT. LOST IT.

I said something I never say to my hubby...

FUCK YOU

I was with our sick kids all week long. I had deadlines for work. I had school work that needed to be finished. I cleaned our house. I made you dinner. I am surviving on very little sleep. YOU went out to dinner every night. YOU slept through the night in a great big hotel bed. YOU DICK! YOU owe me flowers. a big thank you card. you should be groveling at MY feet. you should be sending me off to bed for a nap...

FUCK YOU

Why does everything have to be so political...??

Politics... just slaps you in the face no matter where you turn.
Even my e-mail is no longer safe. A friend sent me this survey via e-mail today...

Aren't you even a little excited?? Now you get to find out what all of my fun political views are... :)

Are you registered to vote? yep... they made me - wouldn't give me one of those cute little "i voted today" stickers unless I did

Is your voter registration up to date? i hope so, i'm really looking forward to that sticker

What is your party affiliation? i enjoy partying as often as possible... although i don't get to do it as regularly as i would like to

Who are you going to be voting for? george clooney

Why? he is freaking HOT

Are you usually outspoken about your political views? i sing my political views loudly while grocery shopping... encouraging others to join in the song

Do you share the same political views as your parents? not usually... they view their politics on their tv and I view my politics on my tv - although... when my parents come to visit, I am more than happy to let them share my political view ... i do have a really nice tv

Do you watch the political debates? when my kids argue, I send them to their rooms - - not fair if I put it on the tv... wouldn't be setting the best example for them you know?

Does sex and race actually make a difference in who you vote for? not usually what is on my mind at the time... but I will think about it next time I have sex and the next time I race and I'll let you know what i come up with

Did you vote in the last presidential elections? of course... i wanted the sticker - remember!!??

Does the government really control the media? if they do, i'm in trouble when i post this

What overall persuades your vote in the presidential election? i've already told you a million times... I JUST WANT THE FREAKING STICKER - why does this have to be so difficult?

Abortion: Absolutely! If your plane is on its way down... get a freaking chute on and ABORT already

Marijuana Laws: what marijuana? i don't have any marijuana...

Taxes: really suck. taxes are totally making the price of the coach bag i want a lot higher

Same Sex Marriage: no i don't think sex should be the same in every marriage - come on now - some folks (me) are just not as flexible as the folks in cirque du soleil

The Economy: should be more like monopoly

Capital Punishment (Death Penalty): don't suggest it - i hear it hurts

Minimum Wage: i absolutely believe every american has the right to earn enough to buy a coach purse... don't you think so?!

Social Security: i don't speak that language... what is that again?

Illegal Immigration: i don't think a fence is the answer dudes

War: don't you know that it's make LOVE not war??!! Where have you been?


Enjoy the rest of your weekend... peace

i hate to complain, but...

i hate to complain, but...

that is a freaking LIE! anyone who mutters that line... telling a lie! have you ever heard anyone mutter those words and look at them just knowing that you were listening to them complain yesterday, and you will be listening to them complain tomorrow!

so, i have been thinking about home much i complain and really, I complain too much - without even thinking about it, i complain... and i offer WAY TO MUCH information when I do...

example...

someone: "how have you been..."

me: "fucking ready to go nuts - kids, school, husband..." 'oh someone, you weren't really asking to know were you? just polite conversation, OOPS!!'

****

someone: "how are the kids..."

me: "they haven't quit crapping for a week - stomach flu. the boy had diarrhea so bad the other night..." 'someone, what's wrong - do you feel okay... you look a little pale - like you're going to be sick...'

****

someone: "big plans for the weekend..."

me: "oh, you mean besides laundry, studying, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning..." 'oh, you don't really give a shit do you?'

****

Yep, I really do, I complain way tooooo much... I'm going to quit - seriously -

But, first... just let me tell you about the asshole that was in front of me at the grocery checkout this afternoon...

Annoyed beyond belief... and it is all AT&T's fault

Today is an example of why people drink ... and a perfect example of why I am contemplating picking back up the habit again myself...

**side note - I stopped drinking nearly 6 years ago when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. Before I could say "she's finally sleeping through the night"... I was pregnant again!! Two babies in two years - you'd think I would have been driven back to drinking a long time ago.**

Anyway ... a few weeks ago, I am home - studying - enjoying the peace and quiet before picking up the kids from school. DING*DONG* - a man is at the door wanting to sell me the new cable service from AT&T Uverse. Before I was able to slam the door in his face - he tells me that I can have DVR service that will allow me to record up to FOUR - yes FOUR - shows at a time while still watching live TV - oh, and with the bundle pack - we'll save $34 a month.

Now, between studying and the kids - I really do not have the time for TV - but I like to pretend that I do. I like to record all of the shows that I have every intention of watching ... dreaming about the evening curled up on the couch with my down comforter, fuzzy socks and a mug of hot cocoa... never happens. But, think of all the dreaming I will be able to do when I am recording FOUR FREAKING shows all at ONE TIME!!

Back to the topic of why I am pouring myself a glass of wine at this very moment...

AT&T sets a time to come to my home on my day off of school - "it should only take a couple of hours to install and then you will be able to continue with your day"! The install day comes and AT&T actually shows up within the scheduled hours of 8am and 10 am - this day is going pretty great.

THAT is when the honeymoon ended.

The AT&T dude was here for NINE hours. After all of that time - and a whole day wasted - stuck in the house with my kids - no TV, no cable, no Internet - he leaves without hooking anything up. NOTHING WAS HOOKED UP!!

So... I call and call these peeps for days - can't get through. Then, when trying to make another call - I realize that my phone no longer works. I have NO phone line. FREAKING GREAT!

I call our previous phone service folks - turns out the phone line has already been 'ported out' to the AT&T folks... NICE! By now, it is now Wednesday... have they been back to fix their mess? That would be a big HELL TO THE NO!

Today, I finally get through to one of the AT&T peeps.
The conversation goes something like this:

Me: I'm ticked off

Them: Thank you for calling, can you please hold.

Me: I'm ticked off

Them: I'm checking on that, can you please hold.

Me: I want someone out here today to fix the problem. The problem being - I have NO SERVICE

Them: Is the red light blinking on your modem?

Me: WHAT MODEM?

Them: On your phone line modem that was installed on Friday - THAT modem

Me: I'm standing on the edge of my roof and I'm ready to jump ...

Them: I'm sorry, I didn't catch that - - can you please hold while we check to see if there is a
problem with your line

Me: Seriously, someone needs to come out today to fix this TODAY. We need our phone!!!

Them: We're sorry for the trouble ma'am - we can have someone out to your home to service the modem next Thursday, will that work for you??

Why did I ever quit drinking... this bottle of wine is going down wonde...r...f..u...lllllllll... y